I Love You More Than Your Mix Tape.

[Tamara Starr]

A year in 70 tweets… I came up with the idea on a plane from Raleigh to San Diego on my birthday last year.  My brother and I were discussing the strange fact that I would still be 22 when we landed on the west coast even though I had already turned 23 at home in North Carolina.  How time is subjective in so many ways, how we can catalog it so easily now in this virtual space and look back at the textualized snapshots that quickly become accessible memories.  I didn’t realize then how appropriate the setting would become or how hyper-evolutionary the next year of my life would be, but I decided then to start saving certain tweets as markers of my progress, my movements, my relationship with the world.

The idea to make it 70 tweets came later.  I was Googling another random question I had about Biblical text when I stumbled upon ‘Ask the Rabbi’ on chabad.org.  There was a list of related questions on the side panel including, “Does the number seventy have any special significance?”

I love numerical symbolism.  Maybe it’s because I minored in Evolutionary Anthropology and Fibonacci Numbers always fascinated me.  Maybe it’s because there is a number behind everything we see, everything we discuss, everything we conceptualize.  Or maybe it’s because of Dan Brown.  Either way, it turns out the number seventy does have religious significance, and awesomely existential implications at that.  Seventy members of Jacob’s family journeyed to Egypt to reunite with Joseph (Jacob’s son), but God also created seventy languages to divide the people as punishment for the building of the Tower of Babel.

Malkie Janowski writes, “When disunity came to the world, it took the form of seventy. When we see a true example of togetherness in the Bible, it takes the form of seventy. It’s a number than can be pulled either way, all depending on you.”

In a world that has at once become so tiny and so infinite due to the advent of social media, we all have more choices, more possibilities, more paths to take in life than ever previously imagined.  70 tweets.  70 moments, heartfelt, absurd, or otherwise, that capture so many choices and add a little narrative structure to the chaos.  Why not?

My journey:

1. en route to san diego for bday! i LOVE the west coast 2:49 AM May 13th, 2009
2. just once when someone asks what i’m going to “do” with my english major i’d like to respond “roll it up and smoke it, of course.” 10:51 PM May 26th, 2009
3. uuugh do i really have to dissect a cadaver on a friday? when i’m pre-law? injustice 11:59 AM May 29th, 2009
4. Back from a whirlwind road trip. Nashville had its way with me. SLEEP 4:23 PM Jun 27th, 2009
5. Michael Jackson tribute on mtv. I remember listening to “i’ll be there” when i was little and thinking that’s what love should be  7:49 PM Jun 27th, 2009
6. What a ridiculous week. moving in the summer is not my jam. can’t wait for the weekend 4:13 PM Jul 1st, 2009
7. @hikunews Long shower mermaid/Take my time to muse over/Slippery questions 6:34 AM Jul 8th, 2009
8. Got a double manhattan to go in Chicago Midway yesterday. Felt ever so marilyn a la Some Like It Hot 9:07 AM Sep 8th, 2009
9. i genuinely dislike the word “folks” 1:15 PM Oct 6th, 2009
10. 23 is kinda wonderful   11:11 AM Oct 7th, 2009
11. #balloonboy belongs in a vonnegut novel 1:06 PM Oct 15th, 2009
12. Found my new L.A. roomie! And she rocks. Wandering around Venice in search of a mango smoothie  8:07 AM Oct 24th, 2009
13. X- countrying to L.A. with little brother— trying to dodge Ida before it hits the gulf! 1:21 PM Nov 9th, 2009
14. Drove from Raleigh to flagstaff in 30 something hours, hit up an ostrich farm, rode with a tornado, L.A. Tomorrow.   6:34 PM Nov 10th, 2009
15. Last night: Burger Bar on Melrose and a night at the Roosevelt. Today: unpacking. owned.   10:02 AM Nov 14th, 2009
16. It’s a beautiful day in my new city and it’s time to go kick ass. with my gps in hand. 9:57 AM Nov 19th, 2009
17. del mar = heaven. back in l.a. 1:53 PM Nov 22nd, 2009
18. It is said that the present is pregnant with the future. [Voltaire] 12:58 PM Nov 25th, 2009
19. Armed with starbucks, heels, and a loaded resume. Game on. 8:02 AM Nov 30th, 2009
20. Going to the up in the air screening at Paramount tomorrow. trying to lock up the giddiness. and failing :)11:12 PM Dec 2nd, 2009
21. Ha! Sky mall has a little blanket with sleeves called the Slanket. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Snuggie knockoff.    7:04 AM Dec 4th, 2009
22. hi, twitter. i missed you. back in L.A. 6:32 PM Dec 7th, 2009
23. “If you’re successful, no one will care if you didn’t follow the plan. And shame on you if you fail but you did.” //Guy Kawasaki 6:48 PM Dec 7th, 2009
24. Ridiculous Christmas party in the Hills last night. 1:24 PM Dec 13th, 2009
25. Bracing myself for the rambling before I head downstairs. Pretend texting. My roommate is like an unemployed George Steinbrenner. 10:25 AM Dec 15th, 2009
26. “We waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love.” [still life with woodpecker] 3:59 PM Dec 20th, 2009
27. Just landed in Raleigh. And it is freezing! 7:32 AM Dec 22nd, 2009
28. It took us 7+ hours to get back to L.A. from Vegas last night. New Year’s recovery op begins now with a smoothie and a nap. 3:30 PM Jan 3rd
29. Definitely getting the side eye in Boston Logan right now. It’s 16 degrees here and I’m wearing sandals. Viva L.A.? :) 5:19 AM Jan 13th
30. Steve Jobs’ keynote speech > State of the Union #appletablet 10:45 AM Jan 27th
31. dear facebook relationship status: i loathe you. 8:33 AM Feb 1st
32. Just helped a guy get out of his flipped 4-runner on 95. resume monsoon trip to Charleston. drive slow, homie.     1:11 PM Feb 5th
33. damn you, february. you can’t even spell your own name right. 11:16 AM Feb 2nd
34. at Cameron for Duke-Maryland and career game #1,000 for Coach K, the man.    9:13 AM Feb 13th
35. “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” [Freud]  8:39 PM Feb 21st
36. california dreamin’… ✈    1:12 PM Feb 25th
37. time keeps on slipping into the future  5:22 PM Feb 27th
38. Good morning. It’s LaLa Eve. YES. ☀ ❤ ☀ ❤  7:46 AM Feb 28th
39. Suitcase: you’ve been my home, you’ve been my companion, you’ve been an airport refugee. you’re a gypsy on wheels. mad love.    6:49 PM Feb 28th
40. Soaking up @BiltmoreLA tonight. Home of the killer Black Dahlia martini. This is the last place she was seen.  10:50 PM Mar 1st
41. Why the side eye hotel guests? I enjoy the fact my car has been hit 3 TIMES and smurf blue tape holds up the side mirror. baller.    8:09 AM Mar 2nd
42. “f it all Tuesday” (sic) in Santa Monica    9:04 PM Mar 2nd
43. when life hands you lemons, paint that shit gold   10:29 PM Mar 6th
44. On assignment at L.A. Fashion Week in 11 days. BEST DAY OF MY LIFE  3:53 PM Mar 9th
45. Friday! Time for “Tik Tok” to pillage every radio station in L.A.   8:17 AM Mar 12th
46. so true. RT @benparr: The statement “I’m a lover, not a fighter” is wrong. True lovers are fighters, and true fighters are lovers.     6:41 PM Mar 13th
47. Guy running up my street with a rolling chair said “Let’s have fun!” in a Swedish accent. I hopped on. Still laughing. That just happened.   11:52 PM Mar 15th
48.  First assignment tonighttttt. I’ll be at the Roosevelt for the Gen Art alumni event. #LAFW  11:24 AM Mar 16th
49. RT @siczar @MissMallibu the interns shall inherit the earth   10:05 PM Mar 18th
50. My feet hate me. getting ready for another show xo    1:13 PM Mar 20th
51. The Dexter boat! Special thanks to @circlefilms for superb post-tequila photography http://yfrog.com/eopvnj     11:45 PM Mar 21st
52. Roommate : Craigslist :: Meaning : Ke$ha lyrics   1:18 PM Mar 23rd
53. Seriously nerding out and getting excited to meet all my social media influences tonight @LAtwestival.   4:58 PM Mar 25th
54. Playing with the future   6:29 PM Mar 26th  
55. My iPhone camera roll is getting all existential on me   12:22 PM Mar 30th
56. Just had a martini with the new NORMAL ROOMMATE I found on Craigslist. No cat ladies, no hippies with doorless bedrooms. Plz RT.   9:51 PM Mar 30th
57. My car got hit for the 4th time last night, but today I no longer live with crazy cat lady, and I am happy.   7:11 PM Apr 1st
58. Life is beautiful and anything is possible. Don’t forget it.     12:21 AM Apr 2nd
59. Favorite song of 2009.  ♫ http://blip.fm/~o5uz6    3:22 PM Apr 5th
60. Farmville Hollywood: There is literally a rooster cock-a-doodling in my driveway. The sun is going down, you little ass hat.   7:06 PM Apr 9th
61. fdskfld;skfdf LIFE   12:42 PM Apr 12th
62. Retiring “The Lengths” for good. It turns me into an emo kid on cue. Uggggh, love. No thank you.   11:24 AM Apr 14th
63.  Lala Chapter 3 begins now. A last-minute invitation, a postcard from Tucson, and an epiphany.   8:16 PM Apr 21st
64. work is my boyfriend    3:33 PM Apr 22nd
65. How do people in this city find time to fall in love?   6:57 PM Apr 23rd
66. Energizer bunny-ing today. On to the next (event). PB&J is key.   7:50 PM Apr 25th
67. The truth behind all your reasons: RT @rands I write to discover what I believe.     9:50 AM Apr 25th  
68. Got out of bed and lured Rock-a-doodle across the street with sunflower seeds. Hollywood farm animals, you know. High class problems.   6:14 AM Apr 26th
69. I love too much. 2:27 PM May 2nd

70. Somewhere in the archives of crudest instinct lies the truth that it is better to be endangered and free than captive and comfortable. [tr] 10:27 PM May 9th

          ❤  ||MissMallibu||

The first two months of 2010 have been pretty intense for me—a blur at best.  Not all bad.  But I’m over it.

So in honor of my move back to L.A. (my ❤) on Monday, I’m putting winter in the attic and opening the windows to my tabula rasa.  Blank, bright, and absolutely beautiful.

These are the 24 things I want to do in my 24th year.  What I want to experience, what I want to achieve, what I want to feel.    Enjoy ☀

1. Launch my music blog.  Treat it like my baby, work it, make it big.

2. Sing karaoke (for the first time!), no stops.

3. Drive the 1 to San Francisco.  All windows down.

4. Run a half marathon.

5. Make out in the rain.

6. Spend a long weekend at the Roosevelt.

7. Ride the ferris wheel at the Santa Monica Pier (I’ve never been on one!)

8. Get lost in the downtown library for a day.  Leave a pretty note in a book.

9. Learn “House of Cards” on guitar, sing it, record it.

10. See the stars from Griffith Observatory.  Make up new constellations.

11. Take a few dance classes. The sessy kind.

12. Bonfire on the beach.  Drink and dance all night.

13. Volunteer at an animal rescue shelter.

14. Go skiing in Big Bear.

15. Give a memorable toast.

16. Run like hell.

17. Reboot my Spanish-speaking skills.

18. Become a regular at a coffee shop.

19. Make the ultimate Venice Beach summer photo set.

20. Make a new friend for life.

21. …On the beach.

22. Refuse to make any obligatory “I’m getting old” jokes when I turn 24.

23. Do a photo shoot in the desert.

24. Go to a music festival.

❤ ||MissMallibu||

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”  —Mae West

(photo via Fashion Squad)

It may seem trite to post a quote from the most recited passage in Corinthians, but brush away your skepticism for a moment and hear me out.

It doesn’t take much unpredictability or heartache to make a person cynical.  Most of the time, it’s easier to fall into the habit of thinking negatively, stressing out, and blaming other people instead of finding the light, letting go of worry, and holding yourself accountable for your own happiness.  But the only benefit is that it is easier.

I finally realized recently that a new love, a new city, a new job, new friends, and new things can all be amazing, but depending on any of it as a source of happiness is akin to building a castle in the sand.  I did lose my way.  In a lot of ways.  But now I know how important it is to possess my own heart, my own self, before I turn it over to anyone or anything else for construction.

Everywhere we are surrounded by the notion that love is somehow unattainable, unrecognizable, that we are somehow broken and under construction until we find romance.  It’s not true.  I do believe that being in love offers self-discovery with good company and more often than not, changes both people for the better.  But those changes won’t last if you can’t stand on your own first.

Forget the cliche.  Forget the wedding where you heard it.  Forget your hesitation, your sarcasm, your religious affiliation.  Think about this notion.  It’s a lofty idea, but to me it’s one worth knowing.  Give love a chance to stay.  Rediscover it.  Own it.  It’s pretty wonderful, after all. xo

“Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

|||MissMallibu||

scenes from the weekend

My letters will have shown you how lovely I am. I don’t dine at Court, I see few people, and take my walks alone, and at every beautiful spot I wish you were there.

I can’t help loving you more than is good for me; I shall feel all the happier when I see you again. I am always conscious of my nearness to you, your presence never leaves me. In you I have a measure for every woman, for everyone; in your love a measure for all that is to be. Not in the sense that the rest of the world seems obscure tome, on the contrary, your love makes it clear; I see quite clearly what men are like and what they plan, wish, do and enjoy; I don’t grudge them what they have, and comparing is a secret joy to me, possessing as I do such an imperishable treasure.

[Wolfgang von Goethe to Charlotte von Stein Goethe, 1784]

February 27, 1913^.

To ‘Stella’ Beatrice Campbell

I want my rapscallionly fellow vagabond.

I want my dark lady. I want my angel -

I want my tempter.

I want my Freia with her apples.

I want the lighter of my seven lamps of beauty, honour,

laughter, music, love, life and immortality … I want

my inspiration, my folly, my happiness,

my divinity, my madness, my selfishness,

my final sanity and sanctification,

my transfiguration, my purification,

my light across the sea,

my palm across the desert,

my garden of lovely flowers,

my million nameless joys,

my day’s wage,

my night’s dream,

my darling and

my star…